2004-06-04

The queen of hearts is always your best bet

People here are funny. Perhaps it's no different than any college, but everyone here is obsessed with dating. At least they SAY they are. When it comes to the actual deed they're a bunch of chickens. However, they absolutely LOVE asking all manner of personal questions, most revolving around dating/relationships. Just the other night, we were celebrating the pastor's birthday, enjoying the usual kind of birthday party chit-chat, and this girl asks Amanda, "Do you want to marry?" Talk about a non sequitur. I was laughing so hard I didn't pay attention to what her answer was. Then today in the cafeteria, I was sitting at a table with a bunch of nursing students, and they started grilling me with all these questions. "How old are you?" "Do you have girlfriend-o?" "Why not?" "How long ago your last girlfriend-o?" I'm glad I don't have any shame in sharing such information or I'd be squirming. I've fielded the question "What are you looking for/What is your 'type'?" at LEAST a dozen times here.

Because of all these questions I've had to think about an answer. Normally, I just give some really bizarre answer and watch them get all confoozled. The first time I was asked this was during a Bible study. We went around and introduced ourselves and that was part of the INTRODUCTION. The first thing I said was "Breathing" and only Amanda got it, 'cause she laughed and everyone else looked like a 747 just passed five centimeters over their heads. I said some other stuff like "easy to talk to, funny, and strange" and they all got confused as to why I wanted someone who was strange. I said "it's because I'm very strange" and that only confused them more.

As a result of all of this tomfoolery, I've come up with a succinct answer. What am I looking for? Well, first, I've gotten pretty good at being friends with women. And I really enjoy it. I enjoy hanging out with them, talking with them, trying (and failing) to understand them, etc. I guess what I'm looking for in a dating partner is an extension of that. In one sentence, I'm looking for a best friend I with whom I can do all of the above, and also french kiss. However, I can't put very well put THAT in the weekly campus ministries newsletter, so I'm putting it here instead.

The mischief is that unless someone else is looking for that exact thing, this is gonna be a doozy to find. Most people (in my experience) draw a pretty defined line between "friends" and "potential dates" so maybe I'm just a freak. Also, all my female friends are probably going "oh good gracious, time to purge Kevin from the contact list." You don't have to worry, I don't have anyone specific in mind. Yet.

That would seem to preclude getting into a serious relationship here, since "best friend", at least in my mind, means you can TALK with the person. And that's kind of difficult here. The other thing is that while there are lots of pretty women here--and life really IS good here, guys--the old saying "water water everywhere and not a drop to drink" is true. The nursing students I was sitting with at lunch were all like 18-20. It made me feel good that they all guessed my age to be way lower than it really is--they started at 23 which put a big smile on my face. When they started saying THEIR ages it wiped the smile right off, though. The one girl who asked me my age said "You are 10 years older than me" which drove home how ANCIENT I am. I was learning how to calculate percentages and write quatrains when she was being BORN.

At least I didn't bust out with the "When I was your age..." line. I haven't used that with any of my students, so I guess I'm not a cranky old geezer just yet.