2004-12-22

A bulwark never failing

So I saved all my thoughts up, and look!--there's THIS medium which is perfect for berserk sermonizing. Fortunately--or unfortunately--for you. Read on or not. THE CALL IS THINE.

I guess a good place to start would be to say that I REALLY MISS MY GIRLFRIEND. She left Monday night (it's Wednesday for me right now) and I've commenced moping. I have, however, had some time for some good reflection on life and us and LOVE LOVE LOOOOOOOOOVVVE WOO~HOO~HOO. One thing that I was thinking about was how I got to be here with her, and my thinking about that jarred loose all sorts of latent ideas. Here's the thing: I can trace my coming here and meeting her DIRECTLY to a decision I made after my 8th grade year, a decision I call my "conversion experience". Being a good SDA kid all my life I never had one of them spotlight-on-the-Bible, "Jesus appeared in my curry and told me to stop roiding or I'd end up like freakish Martian-headed Barry Bonds" life transformations. However, this point in time, just after 8th grade and just before we moved from Loma Linda to Walla Walla, is where I consciously dedicated my life to God. And I don't mean that I said "I want God in my life", stood up and threw my hands in the air and waved 'em like I just didn't care when the minister called for a decision and The Band Played Waltzing Matilda (or maybe it was Just As I Am.) This was really a case of me not knowing where my life was going or why we were leaving a perfectly good (to me) situation in Loma Linda for this frozen tundra weird double-named place. But at some point before the move I said "God, I don't know why you're moving our family away, but I'm going to trust that it's you leading and I won't just go along, I'll support this move." Well, we moved...and the rest is history. Here's where that decision led:

The move to Walla Walla resulted in me attending Walla Walla Valley Academy, where I made friendships I maintain to this day. It also set me on a path towards attending Walla Walla College. At WWC, I made the decision to major in theology and was encouraged by my professors to continue even when I had serious doubts about my future in that field. Taking theology at WWC led to me getting a call out of the blue to pastor in the Northern California Conference, but thanks to a unique arrangement with the NCC (a providential story in itself) I first served for nine months in Loma Linda. Upon my return to Loma Linda, I ended up meeting Pastor and Mrs. Yamaji and giving Mrs. Yamaji some tutoring in English. That experience led directly to them (and some of the other Japanese Church members, if I'm not mistaken) recommending that San-iku Gakuin College hire me as an English teacher four years later. At San-iku, I met Amanda, which brings us up to the present, with me thoroughly enjoying teaching and living here but currently moping around for two weeks missing her.

So: Decision to follow God ==> Walla Walla ==> WWC theology dept. ==> job in Loma Linda ==> meet Yamajis ==> job offer to Saniku ==> meet Amanda. No, it's not stone-cold rock-solid forensic proof of the existence of a loving interventionist God, but having gone through it myself, it's proof enough for me. God is good.

Let me make myself clear, though--it doesn't always feel good to follow God. Even though I can look back and say "That's how God led me", there were times during the journey that I was wondering just what was going on. There were times during my job as a pastor where I'd feel SO out of place I'd get seriously depressed. There were times where I'd wonder whether I'd ever find ANYONE to share my life. As everyone around me was getting paired off and married I'd almost decided that my lot in life was to be the eternal 3rd/5th/7th/(2n+1)th wheel. And wouldn't you know it, just as I was accepting that and actually settling down into a happy singlehood, I met Amanda and am in the process of doing anything BUT settling. Although couplehood is also a happy thing.

So yeah, it's been at times a rocky journey, but by sticking with God through it all I can look back from this vantage point and say "Good grits and gravy, that's keen." I have every reason to expect this will continue, both the "rocky journey" part and "good grits and gravy" part. As C.S. Lewis wrote in the Chronicles of Narnia series, "Aslan is not a tame lion." When I said "I'm going to trust you and follow you" it didn't mean that I was guaranteed friends, a secure job, a house in the suburbs, a loving wife, 2.56 kids, dog, cat, SUV and white picket fence. It actually meant that I was now rowing against the tide of life, that I was living for God and not Wal-Mart, not my family, not America, and not even myself. It's been extremely troubling to me to realize that contemporary American Christianity really isn't revolutionary at all. Being an American Christian today all too often means that I don't listen to music with "parental advisory", oppose abortion and gay marriage, and support things like prayer in public schools and the War on Terror and what have you. No matter what Christian big-wigs say about "standing against secularism" or "reclaiming America for Christ"--I see exactly NONE of those things as particularly revolutionary. I try to read and recite the Sermon on the Mount several times a week, and that's where I go to find Kingdom of God-type revolution. "Blessed are you, when people revile you, persecute you, and say all kinds of evil falsely about you on my account. Rejoice and be glad"--that's revolutionary. "You cannot serve both God and Money. So do not worry about your life, what you will eat, what you will drink, or about your body, what you will wear." Now we're talking revolution. "Love your enemies, pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in Heaven." Lots of Christian meetings call for prayer for "our leaders". How many pray for Osama bin Laden? You say you want a revolution? It means rejecting the fundamental assumptions and essential mechanisms of society, going out on your own with nothing but God and his promises.

The good news is that we do not serve a God who passively sits back and "is holy". As my friend Leslie said in an MSN Messenger conversation, "God isn't 'awesome'. He is the God of Angel Armies, and that's awesome." As Christians we lose a lot, I think, if we take a really narrow New Testament view of God. Yes, God is kind and merciful and loving. Yes, Christ is like a mild little lamb who died for our sins. He's also the Lion of the Tribe of Judah. He's the Lamb that was slain, and the nations will hide from the wrath of that Lamb. He blasted an entire regiment of armed soldiers back on their wallets with a simple self-identification--"I AM." Keep in mind the Gentle Jesus, Meek and Mild, but remember the God of Isaiah or Hosea or Revelation. You screw around with his kids or, mercy me, use his name to oppress people, and he will MESS YOU THE HECK UP. God laughs while the nations rage.

And though this world, with devils filled, should threaten to undo us,
We will not fear, for God hath willed his truth to triumph through us.
The Prince of Darkness grim; we tremble not at him!
His rage we can endure; for lo! his doom is sure--
One little Word shall fell him.